My entry before this one is by far more interesting.

So go read it instead;) I'm just in a bitchy mood so I'm bitching about the continuation of my iTunes experience from the other day. Fuckers. It hacks me off....I still am getting the urge to puke every time my eyes hit that damn iPod, or see iTunes on my desktop and I think about that effing button. One second....and everything....just gone. Ug. Anyways....some hoochie, whose name isn't Stephen- therefore I wasn't talking to her anyhow *rolls eyes* but whatever....hee hee- emailed me back.

> I understand your frustration with losing your music and certainly know how that must feel. However, our previous response was to let you know that we have replaced your music on two other occasions, 2/21/06 and 3/06/07. When you purchase music from the iTunes Store, you may download it one time. Just as when you purchase a hard copy of a CD, you get one copy.

> > When your purchases were lost the first time, we made an exception and reissued these purchases again for you to enjoy. This was a one-time exception and information on backing up your purchases was provided to you at that time.

> > The second time, we made another unprecedented exception due to the fact that you are a good iTunes Store customer. We provided information about backing up your music once again.

> > I'm very sorry to hear that you did not back up your purchases either of those times. When reissuing purchases to our customers, the iTunes Store must do so at our expense. We feel that making an exception once for our customers is more than a retail store will offer in the event that you lose a hard copy CD and we have extended this opportunity twice in your case.

> > I'm sorry if you feel that this is unfair, but this is our policy and it has been explained on two separate occasions. If you feel that you can no longer be a customer, I certainly understand and respect that decision.
> > Sincerely,
> > Heather

My new response went a little somethin' like this: Listen bitch.... Eff off!

Just kidding....it's this....;) Might not be much better but hey....I try *shrugs*:

I understand what your response was for- quite frankly I find this response rather condescending, and I most certainly didn't ask for that. I can hardly imagine that out of the billions of people that use iTunes every day we're the one "unprecedented exception" to any rule that's been used to that very day. And as much as I can appreciate your analogy- I don't agree...sure you get one hard copy of a cd you purchase at a store...but you aren't able to delete it. I can lose my iPod...I can lose a cd- but I didn't. I can delete an iPod when trying to following the directions to finish syncing it, but I can't delete a hard copy of my cd- it's not an option. I don't feel like your policy was very well explained before then by the way....nor do I feel like the process for accomplishing getting playlists/songs from an iPod to a library/computer is very well explained. I think there should be a better system in place to warn you that you're DELETING every single song you've ever purchased and placed on your iPod- you know....maybe red and warning....*shrugs*. At this point.....I asked for whatever information I need as far as contacts to pursue getting that done, so that other people don't have the same problem repeatedly (as I'm very much aware I'm not the only person to find themselves in this position). I'd also like to know if I can be provided at the very least a list of my purchased music- not songs to download....a simple list....like a receipt, so that I can at least make sure I can put our personal playlists back in some sort of form eventually- I'm attempting, but it's being nearly impossible for me to physically write out lists of that nature that contain things in a handful of playlists from such a long period of time- I'm no where near 100 so far, let alone 300. Thanks.

I really just wanna go hunt them all down and delete everything off their iPods.....so then they'll stop saying the "understand" where I'm coming from, when obviously they don't....duh. That...and I bet they always have their playlists on hand to make available *rolls eyes*. Bleh.

If someone sees me on tomorrow, remind me that I needed to call Jason's measurements into the tux place. I'm pretty sure I'll remember but hey....ya never know. I was pregnant once ya know. I'm pretty sure you forever lose most capacity for remember anything at that point *shrugs*. Have a good week guys :)

Gimme Somethin' to Talk About...

Well...what is up guys??

I don't have a ton to say...or actually, let me rephrase: I don't think I have a ton to say. But I'm going to predict that by the time I'm done with this entry I'll have come up with quite a bit lol;)

Been attempting to watch the Nascar race with Jason (well until he fell asleep anyways lol). It's in Kansas this weekend....so we gotta represent or something like that *rolls eyes*. I say that like we don't watch it every other weekend *rolls eyes*. His Grandpa is a massive fan. When I would stay the weekend with them (when I moved to BP we only got to see each other on weekends when I was in school still) that's the routine....come home from church....watch Nascar race/nap lol. He always falls asleep...but he'd wake right up if you actually changed the channel...god forbid! I remember a good two years of staring at that tv as everyone around me is half assed watching and taking naps and thinking.....why on earth would anyone ever wanna watch this crap?!? It's cars....going in a circle....for HOURS *bangs head on wall*. I grew to appreciate it though lol *shrugs*. My favorite is Jr yo. Don't worry....he'll pick back up next year with the new ride I think. Jason's a Jamie McMurray fan- but only b/c he's from Joplin *rolls eyes*. I loathe Tony Stewart....but I loathe Jeff Gordon even more. Ug- he makes me wanna puke. I think he's secretly a real Rainbow Warrior *winks* if you catch my drift. I only somewhat place Stewart lower on my list b/c I love that he harrasses Jeff Gordon;) I have a love/hate relationship with Kevin Harvick too....he's a punk and a jackass....but he's spunky....and he fights dirty- so he at least makes for an interesting race then lol;) Anyways....they just started up again from the rain delay. Hate to break it to them but shortly they'll have to stop again- it's just started pouring and storming here and its all moving that way *shrugs*. It hasn't rained this hard in a LONG time. Bizzare.

So yesterday was Nicolle and Scott's wedding shower. It was supposed to be a 'couples shower'. Eh whatever. Unfortunately....it wasn't all that well....anything? Lol. We got there about 10 minutes after it was supposed to start and Nicolle hugs me and says "well at least we have 2 friends..." lol. A girl she used to work with and her husband showed up later...and then Anne gave up on waiting for her husband (for a good TWO hours....she was slightly pissed) and came even later...and that was it other than family. I think the whole slacking on getting them the guest list thing contributed to that....but what do I know;) Oh well... more food and beer for us!! Or wine if you're me....I'm not a beer drinker. Not post-high school anyways. I'm not afraid to lay the facts on the table and be different: it tastes....like crap. Don't tell me try this kind or that kind....I have- it's still disgusting. Ya'll are just kidding yourselves. My Dad told me in college that I had to "acquire" a taste for beer.....have one with your dinner- you'll start to like it sooner or later....Heh. Thanks Dad. Sure.....or I'll just become an alcoholic *twirls finger*. Dr. Pepper is so much cheaper....I tried the acquiring thing but it still didn't do anything for me. The only time I've ever had a drink of beer that was good, was at the lake....my Dad convinced me to try part of their snack....it was what "fishermen do" at the lake *grrrr...men food....* *rolls eyes*. It was a friggin oyster on a cracker *shudders at the memory*. It's an awful, horrible, very strong taste. I was all gagging needing some water or something- and my Uncle hands me a beer....that is the one time I've ever thought beer tasted good. And boy did it ever. I just don't think that eating that oyster crap so that I can down a beer is very logical reasoning *shrugs*. I'm a fruity flavored kinda girl *shrugs*. And I like non-red wine lol. Or at least am discovering I do. Jorge busted out some fabulous stuff last night- but I only had two glasses....someone had to be the DD yo. And Mommy when I went to pick Jae up and reality started up again lol. Jason on the other hand....well let's just say he and Scott get competitive even with beer *rolls eyes*. Though Scott was far more gone that Jason lol. Dweebs. We had SO much fun though lol. I don't think I've laughed so hard in my life lol. Poor Jason and Scott....I've grown up around these people my whole life....I know they're crazy fun.....and if I didn't live in one of the stories being told- I'd already heard it b/c it involved my Aunt or some of their other friends I know from tagging along when I was little. They're even funnier now than at the time....it speaks a lot for them that they're still around and don't think Nicolle and I either one are not wife material b/c of our crazy families lol. The best story by far though was about Anne's husband before she came lol. Scott told it (they played college baseball together....baseball boys are crazy....Jason has no clue what he's in for at this bachelor party....I keep telling him that but I still don't think he gets it lol)- let's just say Freshman introduction to the team was rather crazy.....involved partying, and a game of "Lay it all out on the table" *winks*. I'll let you guess what the "it" was;) Cody won. And Scott swears that's the only reason Anne is still married to him and puts up with his crap lol. Scott also has a mad funny storyabout Jason- he came to pick him up and he'd just gotten out of the shower, had to throw on just a pair of old shorts to get down to the door...anyways, Scott's version is one of the funniest things I've ever heard in my life, and basically he also thinks Jason's got the biggest penis on the face of the planet too.....but I don't think I can get through it without peeing myself so I'll save it for another day. Lucky Scott.....he swears he was second to Cody....so that would mean between him and his two good friends- if there was a top penis list they'd dominate the top three apparently *rolls eyes*. Boys are so weird *rolls eyes more*. Lots of fun. Wish my batteries wouldn't have died right after we got there or I sooo would have video taped the majority of it lol. My stomach is sore today from laughing so much. Never fear....I'll be prepared....the reception is going to be a repeat- only worse, and there for much more fun;)

All in all I'd say we had a pretty good weekend lol. Fun anyways *shrugs*.

See....told ya I'd think of something to talk about;)

On that note I'm craving some serious chocolate. I hate that...I'm so not a sweets person....then I get a craving like this for sudden chocolate and it's like hell trying to find some *rolls eyes*. Must go.

Bows, Bows, Bows...

So I listed a bunch of stuff on eBay today.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&item=200157464152&ssPageName=STRK:MESE:IT&ih=010

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&item=200157465252&ssPageName=STRK:MESE:IT&ih=010

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&item=200157466197&ssPageName=STRK:MESE:IT&ih=010

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&item=200157466916&ssPageName=STRK:MESE:IT&ih=010

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&item=200157474537&ssPageName=STRK:MESE:IT&ih=010

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&item=200157475894&ssPageName=STRK:MESE:IT&ih=010

Note....if anyone is interested in just 1 Halloween-ish type bow just ask and I can do that too, or the same goes for the smaller ones. In fact...if you're like me and have a daughter with little to no hair lol....I can sew just that smaller size (1-2in) and do something custom for you like that (put a small dab of Karo syrup...or I think I heard you can use KY Jelly too but I never tried that one...in the center on the back and hold it in place on the baby's head where you want it- and ta da! you've got bows yo....and they come right off with a little bit of water, don't worry lol;) ).

I've got a whole deal full of other bows I have laying around and I think I'm going to seperate them into lots also and get them up on there too. I'll add new links for that when I do. I've started with Christmas stuff already and need more space or Jason's gonna die *rolls eyes*lol.

I'm Back.

So I tried everything on the face of the planet (including spyware duh) to fix the computer....it would get to nearly being finished and there would be two system 32 files that were infected it just couldn't seem to rid of. Stupid virus bs. Anyhow- I tried the restore thing.....had issues b/c it would freeze up when it got to those two files. Then it would just freeze and not attempt the restore at all. So....finally it was like okay screw it, I'll just have to restore it to the factory shipped condition.....otherwise I'm just staring at a blue screen telling me its messed up and missing a file it needs to start and work right. So bleh. That was the only other alternative. Naturally....I'm still adding back other programs we had on here. Thank gah I've started burning my pictures off constantly- as soon as I've got a disks worth....and haven't taken any important ones here lately or I'd have to be livid they're gone. So get this: we have iTunes. We've had it for years now....right after we got back from Jamaica was when we bought the first iPod we have- so you do the math. There have been two times something messed up with our computer or with iTunes and it had to be reinstalled altogether. All the music? Gone. But in our iPod so no biggie right....it'll transfer. Nope.....Jason was in charge and twice....yes twice....ended up deleting our whole library from the iPod in the process *bangs head on wall*. I was so irritated with him...I mean come on- he obviously was just hitting "yes" to everything that popped up and not reading it first....how the hell do you just up and delete hundreds of songs. The first time we had purchased music from iTunes on it, plus Jason went through every cd we had and added music he liked. We're talking hundreds and hundreds of songs and lots of time for that one. We didn't add back the stuff from our own cd's b/c it took so long in the first place. Therefore ever since- the only music in the library is stuff we've purchased from iTunes. We're talking 300-and some odd songs as of yesterday. Yesterday I wouldn't let Jase even touch the damn iPod let alone install it all on the computer....b/c he was just being an ass and not paying attention when it screwed up before....anyone can sucessfully do this right? I mean duh.

Heh. Wrong. I took my sweet little time, and still ended up doing the same damn thing. I tried several options....I tried opening my "help" section and searching....nothing. I then opened an IE page and searched the support site.....did what I thought it was telling me to do in the articles....and bam- suddenly I've got nothing left. Fuckers. I was so livid pissed. I'm still livid pissed. So I email the support people- before we emailed them and they just sent back a link where all our music was available to be put back on the computer- end of story. No notes or anything along with it *shrugs*. So I get home last night and get this:

Dear Jason,> > I'm sorry to hear the titles you purchased from the iTunes Store with account "jdeel@cox.net" were lost. I know how upsetting that can be.
> > After researching your request, I found that on 2/21/2006 and 3/06/2007 you were allowed to download the purchases you had made with the account "jdeel@cox.net." Each of these was an exception to the iTunes Store Terms of Sale. I'm sorry, but the iTunes Store can't make a third exception for you.
> > Apple encourages customers to back up their hard disks regularly. If the disk needs to be replaced, you can restore your purchases and other data from the backup and avoid the need to purchase replacement copies of your collection.
These articles may be helpful:> > How to back up your media in iTunes (for iTunes 7 users)> http://www.info.apple.com/kbnum/n302392
> > How to back up your media in iTunes 5 or 6> http://www.info.apple.com/kbnum/n304278
> > This article explains how to transfer purchases from your iPod:> > Copying iTunes Store purchases from your iPod or iPhone to a computer
> http://docs.info.apple.com/article.html?artnum=305465> > I found this article for you on the iTunes support website at:
> http://www.apple.com/support/itunes/ww> > At that website you will find a wide variety of helpful tutorials, troubleshooting tips, and support information.> > To find answers to general questions about iTunes, open iTunes and choose "iTunes Help" from the Help menu.> > Please review the Terms of Sale:
> http://www.apple.com/legal/itunes/ww

> > Thank you for being an iTunes Store customer. We appreciate your business.
> > Sincerely,
> > Stephen>
iTunes Store Customer Support> http://www.apple.com/support/itunes/ww

Thanks but no thanks. Actually, those articles won't be helpful, since I have no music to back up. I'd like to know who to contact about suggesting the process be more clear- as I read your sync from the ipod to a computer article.....and that's exactly what I thought I was doing when I clicked that "Yes" and all my music disappeared. That....is crap. And I'm sorry, but if our PURCHASED music is a violation of terms of service then why was it made available prior?!? If I was just an idiot who thinks they can delete their entire iPod library and get it instantly back all the time it would be one thing, but this has legitimately happened- I opened my help menu and searched before ever hitting that stupid button that destroyed everything, and got no results. I then opened my IE page and went to the SUPPORT SITE and searched there....I got info that didn't pertain to what I was trying to do, or was shady and didn't say exactly what I was seeing or being clear....I did what I thought that was telling me to do......and suddenly felt the urge to puke b/c I'd just accomplished what I thought my fiancee was being absent minded over and I'd been angry over prior. And on top of all that....I'm sorry but we can't possibly be the only people on the planet with that problem, so it obviously needs to be addressed to the attention of the appropriate Apple person period.

It is obvious you don't know just how upsetting that can be- we're not talking about a little time lost downloading things....we're talking about HUNDREDS of dollars worth of music we legitimately purchased. Livid would be a better term. I made sure to very carefully and slowly go through the process of installing things on our computer after the virus attack we had- precisely b/c my fiancee was in charge of it before and quickly clicked a button before really being clear on what would happen and seeing he'd deleted everything. I thought it was crazy he could do that with reading the instructions, that clearly he must have just hit yes without really reading or something....until I did so, carefully, several times, having others read it, calling a friend with an iPod and asking her and reading the screen to her as well....and ended up doing the same thing (after choosing the other option first, and absolutely nothing happening and our music not available at that point even). I think it's assinine in the first place that you could even just up and delete an entire library like that when you're merely installing. It should never even be an option....who spends 99 cents a song on hundreds of songs (and several whole albums on top of that) and just up and is okay with losing all that?!?! That is nuts. After losing several hundred songs today- that obviously adds up to my spending several hundred dollars with iTunes on music on top of the two hundred and some odd I first spent when purchasing the actual iPod to begin with (and later also money an iPod shuffle, that no longer can be used either), in part because of the customer support received in the past....there is no way I'm going to just sit back and say oh well....I'll spend a few hundred more to "fix" things. I'll retire my iPods, iTunes, and promptly send info to everyone I know to beware that they could just as easily be screwed over as well.....or at least maybe some of your "helpful" articles might help one of them before it's too late, where it wasn't made clear or helpful for us. Thank you.

That was the nicest way I could possibly email the jackass back. Note: I'm still livid pissed. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be livid pissed for awhile. No more Lean Like A Cholo for me I guess *rolls eyes*. Ug.

So I think I'm gonna do the restore setting deal this afternoon....I can't deal with this thing and it's effing popups- it makes me wanna toss the computer out the front door into the street yo. I've tried everything I can think of or look up and nothing is getting totally rid of it, or its coming back. That crap hacks me off. Enlighten me.....exactly what do pop-ups accomplish anyways?? It pisses people off, so the last thing they're gonna do is stop to look at your crap first and find some need to follow the link *rolls eyes*. Idiots.

Went shopping last night. No luck lol. Dude....shoes are already hitting the fall mark- there are no wedding-ish shoes that are light enough, and have a small enough heel. That or they were hideous. Not cool. We found one pair at Von Maur that were eh, okay. But nope. Not that cute. She's gonna be screwed *sigh*. We also found one dress there that she liked. I think its too dressy but she wants it full length long because she's got issues with hating her legs like me- heh. However....I found several at Dillards that I tried on that hit mid calf and I still loved them *shrugs*. Too bad I couldn't tote around my Canon and shoot pictures discreetly lol. Took them on my cell phone but I don't have like the internet thingy on my phone- its just on Jason's *shrugs*. So oh well.

Dude.....you people with the music player deals are cramping my blog following style yo. I must be the only person on the face of the planet who browses the web with my own music playing lol *shrugs*. I click on someone's page with music and my frigging Lean Like A Cholo starts skipping and then blares with something mixed in. Took me a time or two to figure out the damn player was at the bottom of the page too lol *rolls eyes*. I'm probably the only person on the face of the planet who logs into MySpace and makes sure I turn the speakers totally OFF lol. I hate that shit. I have different musical taste obviously lol than most people I know.....MySpace songs annoy the hell out of me b/c I think most of them suck lol. It usually includes my own song too so don't get yourself all bent outta shape. I browse and usually give up finding one I really like and just doing whatever *shrugs*- you know....turning the speaker off lol;) If I have to hear that stupid Hey There Delilah song one more damn time I'm going to go off myself I swear. Bleh.

Okay...now that that's off my chest lol *shrugs*. I figured I'd blog once if I'm gonna attempt fixing this stupid computer today- so if I disappear ya'll will know its cause I screwed it up even more lol;)

My shins and ankles are killing me worse today than yesterday. I think I'm going to die. Okay well not really. But it hurts like a mother- ice packs are my friend today. I got up to come downstairs at 5-ish before Jason left. I laid back down on the couch after hobbling down here and he came and kissed me goodbye before leaving lol. I told him I felt like he'd been kicking me in the shins and ankles about a hundred times each- I think he thought I was talking about dreaming that, cause he's all "oh yeah...that's what I've been doing..." and like humoring me- and I'm like no punk....they hurt from running damn it. Duh. I'm not talking in my flippin' sleep *rolls eyes*. Anyhow....I guess that's about all I know.

Heh...I caught part of Oprah yesterday- until it reminded me I needed to call my GM lol. Why you might be thinking (if you saw it lol)? Because after I graduated high school, we were all at the house for something or another....I was on the porch reading the paper and my Dad and her were also out there bs'ing. I exclaim omg....because I see in the paper that a girl a year younger than I am, well her Mom was in the paper for a birth announcement! Her parents are older than mine anyhow. But yeah. I was like "Omg- Dad....that'd be like you and MJ having another baby right NOW!!! Could you imagine?!?! Ug!" to which my GM turns and exclaims "Well I hate to break it you.....but teenagers are the only people that have sex...." as she walks inside. I look at Dad and am like ug....tmi thanks. That was sooooo not what I meant anyways lol. I just meant it would suck to be in your forties and starting back at square one with kids when yours are all in high school or graduated. Not my idea of a good time thanks *shrugs*. That and I'll never have a bunch of kids all scattered out in age, b/c I am one......and it isn't all fun and games. Its a lot of growing up quickly b/c you're responsible for your siblings b/c there are just too many of you for Mom to not need that help *shrugs*. As much as I love my siblings...and my parents...and as much as I know my childhood contributed to who I am now (and in some ways in my circumstances now with having lost my Mom I appreciate it a little more....b/c a lot of things I find I do as the Mom, were things I learned from her and helping with my brothers/sisters- its sort of comforting I guess sort of like, she's "there" in our life somehow *shrugs* I dunno how to explain it- I know it sounds stupid if you've not btdt, sorry *shrugs*)- I still don't think its right. My children will never be responsible for each other....ever. I debated that with a girl I used to work with, that I grew up with.....who kept having child after child, with a mentally abusive cheating husband (who was making even more kids...with various other women...ug), when they couldn't afford the three they had already anyways....and could care less because she just thinks it would be "fun" to have 7 kids....that's just what she wants, so whatever works, right? She had one sibling- this was her basis for all the "fun". I'm like yeah....so you can work your ass off your whole life and not get to spend any time with them, b/c you're at work- trying to provide the maximum amount of mac/cheese and ramen noodles you can....with no help from your husband....letting your older kids essentially raise the younger ones. Oh yeah....lots of fun *rolls eyes*. Ug. People like that annoy me. Like watching the shows on the Duggars lol. It's like good lord *rolls eyes*. Of-freaking-course those kids are all saying they're happy and well adjusted on track people....they don't know any different way of life!!! Put them in the real world.....and they're gonna be like wth....where's my buddy?!? *rolls eyes*. I get taking on the attitude of being more than happy with whatever number of kids that the Lord is willing to give you......at least they're stable in other ways, ya know? There are so many other people that say they "believe" that way and that's how they justify popping out child after child....when really if you get right down to it it's just irresponsibility on their part.

Okay got off topic lol- but I could argue about that stuff for days yo. Anyways Oprah....was about sex...reasons to have it...sex when you're older...and so on. It made me chuckle to myself and recall that conversation with GM lol. That and a subsequent trip a few years later shopping with her and Tomma andRhendi and hitting Victoria's Secret. Rhendi and I are shopping along minding our own business when the other two hollar across the room- "Tori, these are your colors!!! Jason would love it!!!" as they hold up some nightie thing *rolls eyes*. Rhendi and I looked at each other like what the hell have we gotten ourselves into here lol....she's all "well....I never thought we'd ever go shopping and hear anything like that out of Nan's mouth....that's just kinda weird" lol. Yeah. You're telling me. I got over it eventually lol- no trauma. Now its kinda funny and makes for interesting shopping trips (a couple Christmases ago R and I talked her into a Santa-inspired get up lmao.....their anniversary is Xmas Eve....since Tim and I are both gone now we teased them that they could actually have a "real" anniversary now lol- Tomma got a huge ball of mistle toe that year at the florist and snuck in and hung it in their bedroom too lol....we're all kinds of fun up in this family huh *rolls eyes*). Anyhow- I called her and told her she ought to watch....some gal was telling me if I have great sex in my 50's then I won't believe the sex I'll have in my 60's and 70's;) Lol. She agrees *rolls eyes*. I said well just please don't tell me you have sex at the golf course like the gal on here was all wild about.....*rolls eyes*. It was an interesting show lol. A fun one. My favorite were reasons for having sex......the lady getting the new house *rolls eyes*- hey whatever works *shrugs*. I mean at least it's her husband.....there are probably a whole lot of ladies out there with the same reasoning that are actually called....whores?? But yeah.

Alright....fun entry wasn't that?!? *rolls eyes*. I'm out. Have a good one guys :)

Question. So answer it yo.

Okay so I finally found a deal to get rid of this WinAntiVirus thingy right. And I think it did....so far so good- nothing popping up. However....just now, my freaking start menu/blue bar thingy disappeared again. If I minimize my page my desktop icons are gone too. Anyone have any bright ideas on why?!? Or how to fix it??? Bless you if you do. It's really pissing me off.

If I ever get things back to normal on this thing I've got more pictures to put up. Jaeli was being a ham the other night. That and I have a ton of bows done- Speaking of which, Brooke I'll post you some links if you're still interested. I decided maybe it'd be a good idea to sell them in sets rather than one at a time? I dunno. I never see anything like that listed....and being the girly freak Mom I am, I'd rather get a set than just one *shrugs* so I figure its worth a shot. Besides.....the small ones I've done for two sets are really cute I think lol.

In other news.....I ran with Jason last night. I'm still alive obviously lol *rolls eyes*. I think I did pretty good for not having ran at all in like.....a good 4 years if not more, I guess. If one can ever call running good that is. He kept trying to talk to me in miles the night before last....like "You know that bank right by Dillons? That would be about a mile...."- Psh. Are you kidding me?!? That's also ACROSS TOWN from our house yo. Yeah right! That's never gonna happen. So we ran my driveway rather than miles thank you very much lol;) A walk/run thing since yours truly hasn't done anything like that in forever....and apparently he didn't want to be responsible for me keeling over and dying at the end of things. It was a "okay- from here to that third driveway on the left" kind of a thing lol. We probably looked like jackasses, but oh well. I did it. That's good *shrugs*. I totally deserve a present. But I'm pretty sure when I suggest just that, Jason will say yeah....a new pair of running shoes *rolls eyes*. And that's not really my idea of a present. However....I'm pretty sure now that he's probably right. I'm really not at all as sore as I figured I would be. But my ankles are sore....and they were slightly in pain by the time we were almost back home anyhow- as is the lower part of my shins (and I had shin splints BAD when Nicolle and I first started doing that years back.....I do NOT wanna deal with that again....I won't keep doing it if it were to get to that point again-it sucked). That, and the worst.....one of my heels feels like there's a big ole rock under the skin when I walk- not cool. I think its just obviously bruised....but probably due to the whole hundred year old favorite Nikes I was wearing *shrugs*. Hey.....I can do foot pain from a cute pair of stilletos....but from ugly ole running shoes.....I'm not so game for that.

I think Nicolle and I are still on for a shopping trip tonight. We shall see, but hopefully. I don't really think tomorrow is an option for me....and she's got to have new shoes by Thursday for her next fitting. Who orders a dress....a wedding dress at that....that doesn't need hemmed?!? Nicolle....that's who lol. More so, who orders a wedding dress that ends up being 4 inches off the ground prior to any alterations, when you've got your fabulous, gorgeous, most perfect shoe ever, wedding shoes on with it. Yeah. They're a no go :( Which sucks....cause they're fabulous and she loves them. Its so hard to find something like that and then have to go shopping for a replacement, b/c when you find the "perfect" one first- you're still compairing everything to that. Anyhow....we've gotta get new shoes for her....and she and I are both in search of a dress for the rehersal and dinner that Friday night. We both have leg issues lol- so its proving harder than it sounds. If it's long.....it looks stupid b/c of how short I am. If it hits mid calf.....it looks stupid b/c I have huge calfs. Blah blah blah *shrugs*. Yeah....but anyhow....welcome to my day *shrugs*.

So annoyed....still having issues with this WinAntiVirus Pro 2007 deal. Jerks. I can't even google to find something to help me figure out how to get it off- any time I try it closes my internet page. Ug. I hate computers.

Someone fix my computer *sigh*

I hate computers and technology. So yesterday I notice this WinAntiVirus Pro 2007 has somehow miraculously installed itself on my computer. Okay whatever....I remove and restart and go on. But obviously....its not gone- or keeps coming back. I keep getting pop ups like you wouldn't believe and its taking forever to navigate the web. It's pissing me off like whoa. Then also at some point while I'm on the internet- suddenly my blue bar deal at the bottom (ya know....with the Start menu and minimized stuff....) disappears and if I minimize the page, all my desktop items are gone too. I'm ready to throw it outside it's frusturating me so bad. I don't know where else to look for something, or to get rid of it. Anyone with suggestions feel free to leave them. Puh-leese ;)

Ames.....

I got an email today from one of the transcribing places I applied to a hundred years ago, "inviting" me to test for them. It gives you a week to do so- which makes me nervous lol....that must mean they have a lot of guidelines to learn lol;) Anyways just thought I'd share with someone who cares *tear* lol *rolls eyes*. I sent my resume in like....oh last January I think? Never heard from them....saw a link again three months ago I think, and sent it in again. Then noticed a deal saying it can take them up to a month to get back to you, so don't assume they're done hiring. I decided screw it and sent it again last month lol. Cross your fingers I'm as fantastically talented as I think I am- hee hee;)

Weddings on the brain....

Jaeli is in love with Monsters Inc. She's so not a movie kinda kid- could care less, and would rather be doing a hundred other things than sitting watching the tv- namely being outside. It's bizzare lol. Anyhow she's watching that, and I'm watching Cooper attempt to walk around my dining room in my daughters shoes lol *rolls eyes*. He's such a shoe freak! He steals Jason's running shoes at least twice a day to roam around the house in them lol. Poor boy....when Nicolle dropped him off she said he has a fever b/c of teething (hey at least she said he had one this time *shrugs*)- he sat on my lap and stuck his shoe in my hand- that's code for Aunt T....get this stupid thing off my foot- NOW (and is usually the first thing he does when he gets here every morning lol). I did. And he then plopped around in my lap and laid his head on my shoulder and just laid there :( He's a cuddler in comparison to Jaelibug lol. When I first started watching him he was still in the wanting to be rocked to sleep thing- I was in heaven. Jaeli NEVER wanted that. Not from day one. She had to be swaddled super tight, like only Daddy seemed to be able to do right, and then she wanted to lay on the couch in the crook of his arm, and they were both out. Mommy? Never did seem to get the laying down thing right. In fact- I still don't seem to be able to be the substitute for that *rolls eyes*. Anyways, he was like her total opposite lol. He's a cuddler....but this morning he didn't even want to be rocked, he got up grabbed a blanket and wanted to lay down. I ended up waking him up....b/c after 2.5 hours he was still totally out. My opening the door didn't even wake him, and that always does. Poor kiddo....I don't know if I think its actually just teeth though. I guess we'll see *shrugs*.

We have to go shopping this week and find Nicolle a dress for the rehersal dinner...still have to pick up Scott's gifts for groomsmen (b/c he didn't wanna wait to get them Saturday when they were already at the store lol *rolls eyes* apparently buying shoes for his sister and looking for Nicolle's were enough wedding activities for one day lol)...drop her ring off to be sautered...get the rest of the gifts for her bridal party and so on....and a couple hundred other things I can't remember now on the spot. Her parents have to this point already spent $20,000 *dies*. That's crazy yo. But whatever. I know she 'appreciates' it so to speak ya know? But I wish she really got it- that just because it's traditional that a brides family (well and grooms) pay a wedding, doesn't mean that its as commonplace as she thinks it is. In fact most all of my friends who ARE married, have not had any help from their families like that- they've done everything themselves. That's just sorta how it goes. I think she really thinks that like b/c its tradition, well that means my Dad's gonna fork out wedding money for us. Ha- never gonna happen *rolls eyes*. Everything we're doing we're doing ourselves....if when it comes down to the end of October and we think there's no way we want to attempt going ahead to Vegas- then it's not gonna happen. I mean going someplace lol, let's clarify. I'm getting married....in December....of this year. Period, end of story. We've waited long enough yo. I'm done. But if it's going to be a tight budgeting thing to pull that off- screw it, we'll just go the Becca and Matt route- the courthouse, and then the reception after for everyone else. In fact, the more we've done with Nicolle's planning, the better that sounds anyways *sigh*. What a pain in the ass. There have been so many times I've thought ya know....here we are freaking out over timelines and having to have this that and this too.....everyone is stressed out and short tempered. That is not at all what I want. Not at all. What the hell are you doing here?!? What does any of this crap have to do with spending the rest of your life with the person you love more than anything in the whole world? I dunno....I guess I really just feel like its all taking away from the point. Like Jason and I have been together for a hundred years....we've been through SO much to get to where we are even now. The only thing I think about when thinking about our wedding....is that I'll FINALLY be married to him *sighs*. That...makes me smile. Thinking about all the people that think they need to be there or need to be fed and given a good time.....just annoys me. I don't care how happy they'd be.....I care how happy we are. Don't get me wrong....every girl fantasizes about their dream wedding and what not lol....its just geez- how realistic is that? Would I rather throw one crazy wedding- one day in our life together.....or like, buy a house or something? Ya know? It seems silly to me now. Funny....you could never have convinced me of that five years ago or something lol *shrugs*. Blah.

Well...it's lunch time so I better get with it. I don't have anything interesting to report anyways. Have a good day guys!

*yawns*

Welp....sorry about the layout changing ya'll.....I keep changing my mind- and I really have yet to find one that screams me and that I'm all in love with....so excuse me if it changes a few hundred times meanwhile.

This would be me....in the laundry room (which also happens to be Jason's bathroom downstairs...which also happens to house the hat rack that I had to look at for nearly 2 years in my friggin' bedroom- which you see here....ug....that was the first thing I did when we moved and unpacked....hung that shit in the bathroom!!!)- bored....waiting for the dryer to finish *sigh*. Note the oh so cute Barbie sticker in the corner;) Jaeli gave it to Jason one day lol.

This....would be me trying to get a picture with Jason in it as he comes through the door....obviously- didn't work. But hey....I try *shrugs*.

And lastly, but certainly not least.....because hey- everybody needs a little Tori in their lives *shrugs*- Eh, just me.

I am now livid pissed. Can I also just say that I love saying that. Livid pissed, I mean. Why you ask?? Eh- I just like it. That and well, mostly because it seems to boggle Jason's mind lol *rolls eyes*. He walked off earlier mumbling something to the effect of "Livid pissed?!? What the hell is livid pissed....so what....you're 'mad-mad' or something...?" Psh. No! What do you think it is....I mean duh. Okay....sure....maybe I just am "mad-mad" thank you very much. I can be "mad-mad" if I want to also *shrugs* lol;)

Anyway....why....? That folks, would be because I just broke a needle. More importantly...the only needle I apparently have (probably not so true- but...natrually, I can't find any anywhere now that I need one....so for now it's remaining the only one I had...). Stupid needles. If I were a needle in my house....where would I be??? I'll tell ya where.....in the box with the pins, thread, ribbon, and everything else crafty/bow related *bangs head on wall*. Or possibly a set in my 'junk' drawer in the kitchen were the scissors, lighter, and gluestick are perhaps. Or heck....maybe even in the storage closet in, or near, my flippin' sewing machine. But.....unfortunately- a needle, I am not. I've got 7 dog related Kristin bows drying that I finished sewing before....I decide to get the "ABC" related ribbon to going to work on a bow for Jaeli....I finish sewing the individual layers- place them together to start stacking and sewing them together.....and low and behold- the damn needle literally makes this popping sound and flies across the table. Bleh. I just wanna finish my dang bow yo. Is that really so much to ask?!? So for the last 15 minutes I've been sitting here contemplating whether or not it's worth the time to drag my butt down to Walmart and get some- I mean hey.....I'm gonna have to go get milk there tomorrow anyway.....and gum for Jason lol....and heck- honestly....if I had absolutely nothing legitamate to get there, I could totally find something once I was there anyhow *shrugs*. However....I'm just not so sure I wanna go this late. Bleh. Gotta get up early for the race tomorrow....holla!

I finally talked to my GM today. Ooh...I might wanna add- in case some crazy person I don't know actually is now reading me....GM= my Grandmother.....while I'm at it....GD= my Grandad- fyi. Anyhow....so she 'retired' in June (she's been the secretary to the superintendant where I'm from for as long as I can remember) and has been all kinds of excited for that time to finally come for the last few years. What happens?? Oh ya know....like a month after this she calls to tell me she's going to "work in the library." I laugh. Like seriously....I laughed, and was all um, okay....why??? Lol. It's not like they need any extra income or something *shrugs*. And I thought she meant downtown at the public one. Oh no she says....the one in the high school....lol! Mr. Stewart (principle) made a comment about needing a replacement for there and she was joking about doing it. He decided that was brilliant lol- and hounded her until talking her into it (she argued that she has days with the girls on Monday's and a lot of Friday's lol- all these ladies she grew up with have now started retiring too and several have moved back, so they're all clique-like again now lol....it's cute- heh. She's never gambled a day in her life....in fact my Great Grandparents would just die if they were around to see her and Berd heading to Oklahoma to the casino on Monday afternoons just because lol *rolls eyes*- actually I'm real sure my GreatGM would just die if she knew Berd was back in town and they were bff'ing again lol- apparently she was rather wild, as was my GM lol. If they told them not to do something- you could bet your ass that's what they just left to go do lol;) ). So anyway- she's all living it up at the library now lol. She says its neat b/c she gets to do some para work and work with some kids, which she likes.....but hey, if nothing else she can read lol- and get paid for it;) I on the other hand?? Am soooo not liking the new job. I attempted to put my foot down but I don't think it did much good lol;) She called this afternoon all "I haven't heard from you in forever...." and so on (note: she's like my Mom/best friend/GM wrapped into one....its not unusual for me to talk to her several times a day ususally *shrugs* lol- so I'm a 'mama's girl' or in this case GM's lol, but you get the point *shrugs*- I don't care yo. I'm also the favorite....heh;) Just kidding. Anyways....I said yeah I know....cause you have a REAL job now and I can't get ahold of you whenever I want....and frankly I'm not liking it one bit- I think you should just give it up lol. Again- kidding but still....she laughed too. Her new project she says, is talking Stewart into some remodeling lol- I wish I had a picture of the school, it'd make more sense then, but basically there's an open place on the lower level the library is actually build around. She told him the other day she wants that part of the floor taken out, and skylights put in, and so then it can be all open and badass looking lol *rolls eyes*. At that rate I don't have to worry about things....they'll have to get rid of her pretty soon lol;) I guess he called Mr. Poage (the superintendant lol- who was all thinking it was a brilliant idea for her to go to that position....cause then she's right there to help Pam out still lol, that gal who took her place) and told him he had a problem...."Jane." Lol. Eh- at least she can still cause trouble....they need it there lol *shrugs*.

Okay- sorry for the ramble *shrugs*. My point was going to be that my Uncle and his gf came down last night for the Homecoming game (yeah....the prison gal, my fellow OD'ers have heard about *rolls eyes*). Trust me....I'm still on top of digging up more dirt, but I'm also kinda thinking maybe in time she'll destroy herself lol. I guess they saw my Aunt Charissa up there, she's Tim's age too (another clarification...she's not really my Aunt I guess....a family friend- my Mom's bf growing up was her sister, and their Mother was my G'ma's bf also). She always asks about him and how he is when any of us see her- strictly b/c they grew up together.....both sides of my family have been really close to theirs, so that was neat and all. And there's another kid who was in his class that was wounded recently in Iraq that he'd been worried about that showed up- so he was really excited to see him too. My GM said LeAnn acted all pissy when he was talking with Charissa *rolls eyes*, and then my GD said he thought she even acted that way when he was talking to Jerry *rolls eyes*. He is SO not the kind of guy that would fly with normally. Not at ALL. But there's something about this hooker that has him all kinds of weird *crosses fingers she self destructs real soon*. Ug. Whatever.

Welp I guess I better knock off the nonsense blogging about nothing and get stuff done around here so I can get my butt to bed or I'll be not a happy fiance in the morning to wake up and get ready;) Goodnight kids!!

Ug.

I'm annoyed with this thing again. I try and make it pretty and what does it do??? Deletes my people *tear* lol. Go figure lol *rolls eyes*. I'll fix it later I guess.

I so need to eat something. I ended up with a horrific headache last night- I haven't had a migraine in a hundred years. Okay well not a hundred...but you get the point. It's been a super long time since one has actually made me sick to my stomach :( No fun. Fell asleep way early. Woke up at like 11 something- starving.....but with a pounding headache still none the less. I'd started fixing one of those fet. alfredo dinner things in the microwave and so I finished that....only to be sorely disappointed....they changed how they made them and added broccoli/carrots. Don't get me wrong- I heart my broccoli and carrots yo. But when I'm already feeling like crap and in a foul mood- the last thing I want is a dinner that used to be my favorite, coming out like that. Bleh. It did help eating a little I guess. I laid down on the couch with my ice pack thing (its my bff when this crap flares up....there's a difference to just a migraine, or one that affects the entire right side of my body practically. The latter of the two is b/c of an injury my sr year coming out of a stunt. Fuckers. My right shoulder is where it starts flaring up....then it goes down into my arm/wrist....then my hip- ug...that's the worst! Yup- btdt with physical therapy and I go to the chiropracter still *shrugs*....such is life I guess...). Yesterday Nicolle was late picking Cooper up again. I don't even really get why, since she called to tell me when she was on her way to begin with but whatever I suppose. By that time he was really wearing on me....he wasn't in the best of moods either and decided instead of holding Aunt T's hand while we go downstairs, he'd rather grip it for dear life while suddenly going limp and throwing himself on the floor for a fit, and nearly ripping it out of the socket- thanks very much. Ug. Dude.....you could have at least grabbed ahold of my LEFT hand instead. Grrr! It was all downhill from there. Bleh.

I feel like I need to do a hundred things today but can't really think of exactly what they are lol *shrugs*. I'm waiting to hear from Coley on if they wanna do something for dinner tonight. That determines whether I'll agree to go "run" with Jason when he's ready to go. I'm game....unless we're going out afterwards. Sorry but my makeup looks way good today thanks- not messing it up for no good reason. That....is not a good reason. He seemed to think hot sex would be a good reason- and while that would be up further on the good reason list.....still not good enough;) Psh...he can wait until we get home yo *rolls eyes*;) It takes me entirely too long to get all my massive amounts of hair dry and flat ironed and like I want it- I'm not messing that up either thanks;) I know....I'm uber pleasant today right? Lol.

Tomorrow is the half marathon. I'm going. Partly because I want to watch him do well, and take some decent pics....but mostly in case I need to give off a "we're too good for you....he's taken....and I'm hotter than you are....just in case you didn't catch that memo yet..." vibe if the hoochie who was giving out phone numbers and wanting to go "run" with my other half a few months back. I don't really have a reason to be bitchy realistically speaking....just the fact that it doesn't matter what Jason thinks....I'm a girl....I know how we work....girls don't give out numbers like that in innocent ways- we're just smart enough to make men think that *rolls eyes*. I'm also smart enough to give off said vibe if need be- without him realizing I'm doing it *winks*....because god forbid I overreact and look like an ass b/c she's never acted interested other than with running right? Psh. Heh. It'll be fun I'm sure lol. Again- as much as realistically speaking I don't really have anything to be a super bitch with.....if I wasn't in a relationship I cared about having and had eyes open enough to catch on to someone before I had reason to totally flip out- I might. And I don't appreciate that b.s. If there is one thing I will never be....it's a whore. And sorry....it doesn't make a bit of difference to me if you sleep with someone elses man or not- if you're interested in them and you pursue it, however that may be......sorry.....you're chalked up to a whore in my book- you'd be one if given enough chance *shrugs*. It's classless and tactless.....no matter how old you are, or any other circumstances. I guess I just have more respect for myself, and for other people, than to disregard such things. Sorry- was talking to a friend yesterday about someone we know in that circumstance: I mean a girl we're friends with, who's falling into that 'whore' category- disregarding the fact said guy has a family....b/c it "doesn't seem to bother him..." *gags*. I'm just going omg- listen to yourself.....do you really not think more of YOURSELF than to become "that girl"?!?!? Is it really okay to some women out there to be all flirtacious and after some sort of relationship with a guy you know you aren't going home with at the end of the day- b/c they've already got someone waiting there for them?!? Who the hell thinks that's okay??? It blew my mind listening to her. My gah *rolls eyes*. We're 26 years old....not 16? Why will there always be people that never grow up?!? I listen to her reasoning....and just want to hit her over the head with something to try and knock some sense into her and be like gee.....how's it workin' for ya?!? Duh. Anyways....

Did I mention the foul mood thing today?? Ha.

I need a vacation lol.

Jason's watching "The Tour of Missouri" on tv. We were going to try and go for part of it, but ended up deciding not to last minute (I'm glad....he's wallowing in his sorrows for missing such a fab thing....)- he's now in the other room swearing to me that we WILL be there next year lol. Okay *shrugs*.

Well hell....I suppose I better do something productive today before Jae's up from nap time and it's all gone to heck;) Have a good weekend kids!!

Another attempt.

*takes deep breath here*

Let's attempt the picture thing again shall we??

Kids being silly....

They're all BFF like and everything....

The best self portrait Coop's gotten....usually he cuts one of us out of the pic lol

Jaeli trying to take a picture....

Jaelibug

Me....ready to run yo.

Me....we so didn't run yo.

Anyone wanna explain to me why I can't do this picture thing like I want to *tears hair out*?!?!?! They show up at the top of every entry instead of where I want them- I have lots of pics bitches....I'm not gonna sit my happy butt here long enough to move them all like this again. Ug. And they show up in the wrong order any-freakin'-way......bleh.

*Omg. I looked at my entry and hit that last picture....and it screams Abby (my sister lol)- well if I lightened the eye makeup anyways;) The other day that happened with another picture I saw. Eek! I mean hey- I was first, and I'm cute....so lucky her;) But it's bizzare as hell to realize all the sudden looking at a pic like that lol. Her face is more long, and mine is round- so its just weird when it hits a certain way and its like whoa....that's not me that's Abby...*scratches head* lol *shrugs*. Weird.

OMG.

I so tried to update last night....with no luck. My flipping page shut and I lost it all....right before I was finished. I was adding pics. Which....brings up another point. Anyone know why when I go to add them it puts them at the top of my entry automatically, and not where I put my cursor, which is where I want it at?!? I can't take it. That drives me nuts. I write too long of entries to have to move them to the end all the time damn it!!! Ug.

So....last night didn't go so well. We didn't end up running at all *rolls eyes*- but rather dealing with last minute wedding dress drama yo. Everyone had been to the alteration lady but Amy....I had to go back anyway b/c the bra I had on that day was sooo not working with the dress, so she could adapt the straps again (as she wasn't comfortable just doing it anyway *shrugs* whatever works). So....we meet at Nicolle's....leave the kids with her and Jason- and off we go right. Fantastic. Until we actually get our dresses on. Note: this is the first time Amy has tried hers on since our original fitting and getting them in. We knew we were in trouble from the get go.....when I busted the hook/eye clasp deal at the top when I went to do that so I could zip it for her. Oops *shrugs*. We couldn't find it either lol. But the lady hollars back from the other room that's not a big deal- they're usually not on there very well anyhow. Okay great. Welp other than the straps mine now fits perfectly- yay me. Amy's? No way could I get it zipped at all....no gd way. Okay fine great....that's why we have this lady to alter....she's all whatever, I'll let it out some. Mind you meanwhile we head out there and once she gets to looking at it- there's no way she can let it out enough- there just isn't enough material....and she's not comfortable using left overs from our other dresses b/c of the seam placement- it will not match up right and you'll see it in the back. Okay- we're like shit....now what?!? And move on to me. Amy comes out after getting redressed....and announces look- the dress is the wrong damn size!!! She was a size smaller than I was- we were all right there when she called out measurements- so we assumed her size bc that's what it should have been. Oh hell no. It's TWO sizes smaller than mine. No effin' way will it work lol. If we'd been in the U-freaking-K.....it would have been the right size according to the tag *rolls eyes*....but hello?!? Ug.

On top of this....the Renni lady we've gotten our dresses, and Nicolle's, from is going to be a bitch about it and we know it. She's got a reputation around here for being bitchy and horribly rude (she's a bitch if you walk in to check things out....you must have an appt and so on....). She was okay when we were there....b/c Nicolle's Mom was there. She's as strong headed and loud and my-way-or-the-highway as Renni is.....so I guess they just understand each other or something lol, and got along. Nicolle's Mom lives out of state....so meanwhile we have to deal with getting info on all the dresses....she was so bitchy and rude when we called to see if they were in yet or when they expected them right. Three days later her Mom comes to town and just goes in.....gee what do you know- she's got the dresses *rolls eyes*. Virginia was so livid last night she called the gal at home (she's an old gal btw...lol)- she says no way. Can't get a new dress by then-it would be at LEAST November for that.... so she's going to have to bring the excess up to their shop and their lady will fix it. Nicolle's going oh hell no.....we already know its not going to look right period. And....its their fault- its the wrong damn size, period!! I end up calling the supplier today trying to get a dress directly from them- can't do it. Nicolle sees the tux rental/bride shop we got tuxes from is also a carrier of the said brand of dress.....so I call them and explain the situation. The girl calls me back shortly after- no problem....if they order the dress today....we can get it on time if we express delivery it. At this point we're going who cares how much more has to be forked over--get it done. So I pass that info along.....Nicolle's Mom calls Renni again and says look bitch- we know you can get it in by then....blah blah blah. At this point Amy is to go in with the dress tonight and they want to measure her again- she won't admit it was their fault- that's the problem....she's never wrong *rolls eyes* and so they'll be asses and then say oh gee we can pull off altering it, and refuse to do anything more than that. It'll be interesting lol *shrugs*.

And now.....ug.....my effing page won't stay open so I can post my pics. Between this and OD I'm so annoyed and beyond today- so I'm so out.

I'm trying....I'm really trying....

I just cannot get into the groove of this place. But....since OD is STILL being an ass every other time I attempt to bring it up anyways- what's a girl to do *shrugs*?

So I'm not getting skinny enough fast enough. Do we all know what this means?? No, no.....not starving myself. I'm not so good at that *shrugs*. If I could starve Jason too, I'd be good to go- but ya know...I've gotta do my wifely duty and keep the boy fed decently. Too bad I'm not a terrible cook. Anyhow- what does it mean? It means.....I'm going to go run tonight. Someone shoot me now please *dies*. I hate running. Unless of course I'm running from a frog, as previously documented this week lol;) It's the logical thing to do though. For starters b/c Nicolle wants me to go with her...she gained 2/10ths of a pound last week (she weighs in on Wed.s with Jenny Craig) and I fed her Taco Bell and Pizza Hut both during that week....so I'm being guilted into it lol;) Secondly though- it's the logical thing to do b/c I like my DrPepper and whatever else....if I maintain something like that physically- then fuck dieting forever....I'll eat like crap and run;) I'm kidding. Kinda- but you get my point;) I packed on massive amounts of weight after my Mom died. I tried everything diet wise. I started running after work and with Nicolle- and off it came, uber fast. So as much as I hate running- I'm going. Jason's amused I'm sure. He's coming with lol- I dunno yet if its to stay at the house with both kids so we can go alone, or if he's going to accompany us. I hope its the first of the two lol. That's why I never would run with him before, I went by myself- I know I don't run "right"....and I don't give a flying you know what. As long as I get skinny fast- I don't care if I look up or down or ball my fists or breathe very second or every 3 seconds or what the hell ever *rolls eyes*. I'm real sure he's gonna insist on dragging me to First Gear this weekend now. The last time Nicolle got the crazy idea to run in her head he said I needed new running shoes first *rolls eyes*. I like my shoes thanks. I have two pair of running shoes I've barely worn- they were purely purchased for the cuteness factor lol (pink ones and yellow ones). But when I started running back when I lived on campus I got these black/white/yellow Nike ones that were on sale lol and that are still the most comfortable things EVER. Those are the only ones I've ever used to run....or walk....or goof around playing volleyball or whatever in. I like them. They don't hurt my feet. My cute pairs don't hurt my feet until I actually attempt to do something physical in them :( Fuckers. I definitely don't wanna go down there this weekend- the half marathon is Sunday. I'll go to watch Jason and have to listen to those guys give me crap about running now too *gags*. Sorry fellas- my motivation is not being competitive or my utter "love" for running....and sweat *dies*....but rather pure vain-ness. I just wanna be hot- end of story.

Note: I did clarify to Jason that if he goes with us.....we're talking run as in down the block.....not across town yo. He laughed. I'm not sure if that was good or not lol;) The last time we got ambitious and started this.....we ran from Nicolle's parents house (they still lived in BP where we grew up then- in the country). Fun little story *rolls eyes*. First you get the background: When we were like.....eh.....in 3rd grade.....a girl from Wichita went missing- Nancy Shoemaker. It was ALL over the news for months. She walked to the gas station for her stepmother to get her little (sick) brother some 7Up- and was abducted. It was scary, just as a kid seeing another kid on tv like that missing.....it was obviously a huge story here....and I think everyone's parents at some point or another stressed when we were out playing to stay right there....we don't wanna disappear like that one girl....right? So months and months later....at that point we lived in RH (my Mom had remarried Steve by then) and I'd go stay the night some weekends with Coley. I do this this one particular weekend. That Sunday night afterwards was stormy weather wise. They kept interrupting the show we were watching (my brothers, myself, and Steve) with weather bulletins- well they break in with more breaking news.....and suddenly I'm looking at the outskirts of BP and they're flashing the girls picture up. They found her. People out walking had come across human remains. Steve's all "whoa! That's the hedgerow by Jorge and Virginia's!" - aka: Nicolle's parents. The gal is live from there *cue me dying*. They found the body in her neighbors hedgerow edge/field (a part which was used only to dump waste....like farm animals/ect...)- a mile down the way from Nicolle's house exactly. Right down along the road we'd rode our bikes down, went for walks down.....ect ect. My terrified level at that point was equal to when BTK reappeared lol- if you read me on OD then you'll get the point lol;) Those people had to have driven past their house to get out there....just knowing that much creeped me out like whoa. Just knowing some poor girls body had been laying down the way all the while.....just was creepy, and scared the hell out of us. Stuff like that doesn't happen in places like we're from- ya know....you're all innocent then lol. Neither one of us would sleep alone in our rooms for months. Virginia called my Mom and said Nicolle wouldn't do ANYTHING by herself- take a bath, sit in the living room watching tv, nothing. My thing was just at night- falling asleep wasn't cool for awhile. But I wasn't a mile down the road either *shrugs*. It wasn't so fun to go stay there after that lol. We would play right around the house, but if we heard a car we'd run into the garage and wait- once we watched a truck and two people across the way in their field and freaked out enough to get her Dad to go over there.....they were hunters lol *rolls eyes* but hey *shrugs*. We were like 10 man. It still creeped me out years later in high school- the bright idea to drive out there to that field b/c there was like a cross and memorial out there people had left for her came up. We'd never gone back down that way- ever lol. Stupid high school boys had to play around and try to scare everyone- never been back lol;) Anyhow......

Fast forward to college and deciding to go run while our laundry was going at her parents house. Virginia laughed b/c I actually agreed to go lol. What happens......we start running down said road. We get almost to the intersection (this girl was found right down after the actual intersection a bit) and what does Nicolle's dumbass point out? Oh gee....a big trash bag on the side of the road. What does she decide is the bright thing to do as I'm saying just come on....poke it with a stick or two....and find bones....and hair *dies*. It was decomposed enough not to be obviously some sort of animal or another- and if you think we were gonna open the bag to check out the rest you're out of your ever lovin' mind. I was like screw this- we turned around and ran back to the house.....and made her Dad go find it and make sure it wasn't a person lol. Never fear.....it was part of a deer someone decided to bag up and dump *rolls eyes*. They still give us crap for being weenies but whatever. Point being: stay tuned for an update entry tonight. I'm taking my camera for one....and for two- something stupid and weird is bound to happen.....obviously. Lol;)

Omfg. I'm so going to have to rough up the DM if OD doesn't pull it's head out of it's ass and WORK today *sighs*. This is bs. It's day 3 of not being able to get the site up, or getting it to appear after a billion years, and then not being able to log in, or logging in.....and then a hundred years later seeing your faves page.....and then the entries you click on never loading. Sure....I've got blogger....woo-freakin-hoo *twirls finger*- but I don't want blogger....I want OD. Ug. Obviously I can write here....obviously I have a lot of the same people on my list here that are on my OD one- but lets just face it....I don't write all the things I'd write in my OD over here....and I don't feel like a lot of you do either. Plus I just like my OD setup better *shrugs*. Why oh why does the DM just have to be a bitch......*rolls eyes*.

I'm annoyed....I can't get OD up and going. Jerks *sighs*. So I guess I'll just post here *shrugs*.

So the other day I said something to Ames about how I find it perplexing some of the things people choose to blog about. Dude....if I were as nuts and bad off as some of the people I sometimes come across- good lord.....freakin' make something up or something yo!?! What is the deal? You could at least invent a normal life instead or something lol, instead of wallowing in what is your life. That being said, I'm about to write an entry like that lol *rolls eyes*. What can I say *shrugs*- I'm girly....I told ya'll I don't do animals (I really meant it and I really meant it in EVERY kind of way imagineable thanks very much)....and well, at the risk of blogging about a part of my life that is a little on the wack-job side- what the hell *shrugs*.

I was uploading some pictures from the camera and the computer was naturally being slow. Whatever. I take my happy self into the kitchen....pack Jason's lunch with all the stuff that doesn't need to stay in the 'fridge....then move to the 'fridge and decide to clean some of it out (well yesterday I did so big time so it wasn't like that kinda clean out- but more so b/c we had pizza for dinner and I needed to reorganize to fit the leftovers in.....have the drink stuff on the top shelf (b/c it bugs me if it's elsewhere).....and have the rest of Jason's lunch up there too so it's obviously what is what. Mmkay.....I take some stuff out......after a few minutes of going about my business I come to check my screen so that I can add the rest of the pictures to my album if it was done. It is....so I sit down to choose the pics quickly, so it'll keep doing its thing while I finish mine in the kitchen- when low and behold something catches my eye from the floor. I didn't have time to really realize it and look to figure out what was going on, when suddenly.....whatever it was OBVIOUSLY hopped *cue heart attack here*. It was (sorry for the f-bomb girls, but in the moment it was what I was thinking lol) a fucking FROG people!!! A FROG!!! In my freaking HOUSE!!!! *shudders*.

Sorry kids....but some things....belong outside. And quite frankly....frogs are one of them *swoons*. As soon as I looked down at the little punk what did it do?? Hops into my KITCHEN....eeewwwww!!!!! It heads for a corner under the cabinets that actually has a small space it hopped into *dies*. Meanwhile I run for the living room (remember when I said I don't run....I'd be pressed to run for my life lol....but by gah I'll run for a frog yo.) frantically hollaring at Jase, who was asleep on the couch, to come quickly- there's a frog and he's gotta catch it!! I head back and grab the flashlight and shine it towards that corner....and the little effer hops out at me and then towards my freaking stove. Jason's grumbling about how its just a frog....but taking the light and getting something to help look under there- meanwhile I make a run for upstairs b/c my feet are ready to curl up and die for fear of being pounced on by a slimy icky frog *shudders some more*.Exhibit A of the evidence.....I would never be caught dead in capri length sweats, Jason's socks, and my old Christmas slippers my GM got me like 2 years ago (hey- they were the closest thing to the dresser when I grabbed the socks lol *shrugs*).

I get back down and Jason's all on the floor hunched over in search of my long lost (and yet to be seen by him) froggie grumbling about the whole "its just a frog..." thing *rolls eyes*. Then he gets up and moves the stove b/c I swear on all that is holy that there IS a freaking frog under there damn it!!! If you think I'm hanging out to clean up the kitchen and do his lunch.....or getting in the cabinet or stove tomorrow......when there's a frog on the run in there, well you've got another thing coming thanks very much. I'll be damned. The thought of the stove actually moving out of its position has never crossed my mind *shrugs*. Good thing it disappeared there I guess.....it needed to be swept out like no other lol (there was a black sock under there *scratches head* lol....I know its not ours- it must have been from the previous tennant? whatever....just weird lol) (which I did afterwards btw). He finally sees the damn frog....and laughs b/c supposedly its a "baby frog" and not even a real one *rolls eyes*. Whatever. Animals are supposed to have babies in spring.....screw it being a "baby"....I think its really just the retarded runt frog out of the litter (or wtfe a bunch of baby frogs is flippin' called *shrugs*)--looks can be deceiving ya know. The frog caught on to that it was being watched and tried to hop to the other side and out.....luckily for him, Jason cornered it....grabbed it.....and then went to the door to put it out.....where I promptly made him throw it.....FAR. Ewwww....*shudders again thinking*. It was all nasty slimy looking. Ug.

Exhibit B- my kitchen after the chaos...don't mind all the food and crap I was cleaning up....

Exhibit C- More of that....and the above mentioned flashlight too lol;)

Exhibit D- Eewww....!!!!

Exhibit E- Oh hell yeah.....get that thing OUT of my house......NOW!!! Gross.

Thank goodness for him lol *rolls eyes*....that would suck if he weren't around to protect me from all the nasty things in the world I'm phobic about....bleh lol;)

And there you have it folks......I'm weird......I don't do frogs more than I do mice or anything else that may be in my home that isn't a human being. Yuck!!!

Wow...it's already Thursday.

This week has flown by. A little too quickly actually- if that's possible lol. I don't know that I've ever thought of the actually week as going by fast. Only weekends. But anyhow...I hadn't blogged in a hundred years (okay okay...a couple days *shrugs*) so I figured I'd check in. I dunno how well I like this place. OD is just sorta....I dunno- safe? And easy to navigate mostly. Ah well- regardless here I am.

Let's see here...my week? I just got Cooper to say what I think is supposed to be "Kimmy" *high fives myself*;) It was lunch time...what can I say, the boy likes spaghetti;) I've been working on that one for over a week with no luck. He laughs at me....and says "no! Daddy!" *rolls eyes*. That would be in reference to Nicolle's sister, Kim. Jaeli started saying it like "Key-me" lol- which is cute....but anyhow, Kim was all elated. Cooper said "T" after Mommy and Daddy- heh. If you hadn't guessed by now- that'd be me yo. Aunt T;) You ask him to say Aunt T and he giggles....eyes me....points and says "Teeeeeee!!!" and then claps for himself lol;) What can I say? It's a hell of an accomplishment so I clapped any time he'd say it at first *shrugs*;) Anyhow I think Kim was getting antsy- she's that way lol. So we've worked on it....but nothin' until today. It was funny;) You've got Jaeli going "yeah Poo...say Key-me..." after me *rolls eyes* before he finally said "Nee-mee!" and pointed to my spoon of spaghetti;) Hey...a little bribing never hurt right? Hee hee. On that front, Jaeli said "Aunt Cole" once yesterday lol. It so far has always come out as "Tole" or "Toley"....as Scotty comes out "Totty" *shrugs*. She's funny. She says new crazy things all the time- its fun! She laid down on the floor the other day between Jason and I, rolls towards him and says "Daddy....change me." It was funny....he looked at me and was like okay then.....I guess I will....*rolls eyes*. We're still working on potty training. The whole just letting her wear her big girl panties and go with it theory is not even kinda working for her lol. She'll just go ahead and potty and never say a thing! At least now with the pull-ups she will tell you....right AFTER she goes *sigh*. But the last week she's said so three times beforehand, so that's progress. And she actually sat on the potty all three times....so hopefully our fear of all things toilet are going to be non-existant soon lol. Whatever- you can't make them do it until they're ready- and I'm perfectly fine with that *shrugs*. Just figured I'd update on status there. She gets better and better with her ABC's and numbers. Last week I was counting kinda to myself at the grocery store (I think I was counting how many tomatoes I was picking up or something *shrugs*) when I hear her start counting with me- I say 8, she says 9, I say 10- expecting it to end there....as that's as far as she's counted before. Oh no....she says "le-ben".....I gather myself and say 12...."fir-teen"....omfg- okay....14......??? She scratches her chin with her finger and says "hmmm..........five-teen?"- lmao. She's too funny- love her!

In other news.....I'm expecting a baby shower invite from my step-sister any day now. I might say, despite the fact that my Mom married an asshole the third time (she'd probably say that my Dad and Steve were asses too or she wouldn't have divorced them- but that's crap imo *shrugs* Anytime she had a good thing going, it wasn't in her eyes....and downhill it went) I have a relationship with my "stepsiblings" from the time. I know if there were awards for blogger with most confusing family mentioned randomly in blogs I'd probably win lol;) That being said: Ashley, Audra, and Austin are my stepsiblings from that (not to be confused with Lexy....younger stepsister- Jean and Steve's daughter.....and Mollie, Jacob, Jenni, and Tommy....stepsiblings from MJ (dad's wife)- I know...but try to follow me here lol). Ashley is a year younger than I am, Audra is a year older than the twins, and Austin is a senior this year. I see Austin if I go by to see Kenadaey and Kalaeb, as he still lives with his Dad. I run into Audra a lot, mostly over the holidays it seems....she lives in the next town over with her bf and his two girls. Then Ashley and I keep in touch via email/im weekly- after I had Jae I had spoken to her off and on but not seen her in years....they lived near us and we got back in touch then and have stayed closer since. Anyhow- she found out....oh a month or so ago...she's having twins! My Mom would flip if she were here lol. Well in a good way I mean lol. Anyhow- I guess she and Don had talked about maybe trying for one more in the near future when she then found out she was pregnant already (they've got 3...her oldest was born my Jr year of h.s.). She said she was okay and everything- just slightly shocked it had already happened.....but then they get the sonogram done and low and behold there are 2! She's slightly freaked out lol. She said it was just her luck....that there is one of each- of course she couldn't have both boys or both girls....she needs one of each! She long got rid of most of Kaytee and Kelsey's stuff, but has all the boy goodies from Preston (who is like around a year older than Jaeli is)- and had hoped for another boy, or in this case 2 of them lol. Anyhow- it's exciting I think! I'm anxious to see her! She's always been on the smaller size pregnancy wise- um....she kept her 1st a secret until she was well into being 6 months along . Yeah that didn't go over so well with the parents....I remember my Mom and Ken going off about how could Tammy not know she was pregnant that long and blah blah blah *rolls eyes*. I kindly pointed out to Mom that she didn't notice either.....and she was a L&D nurse for how many friggin' years??? She told me "that's different" lol;) That's also what she said after flipping out about Tammy buying tons of baby stuff when Ash was still considering adoption at the time- that that was 'encouraging her' or whatever.....and I pointed out I thought it was awfully hypocritical of her when she's talking to the daughter she got pg with in her teen years. Actually she said "that's different.....I was married." I laughed and blurted out "uh yeah....BECAUSE you were pregnant with ME!" *rolls eyes*. She dropped me back off at home (she got me from school for dr's appts and too me back to my grandparents after) right about then lol;) She did later say that it made her think and change her outlook a bit more. I think they were all so 3 into blaming each others parenting skills for Ashley's own choices that they were too busy with that to think about anything else at first. What's funny is that was in February. We had our family Xmas with Mom at their place in December and when we left Jason asked me if I thought Ashley looked pregnant. Excuse me what? That is assinine. She's just bigger period, and she's put on a few pounds *shrugs*. Besides....do you not know my stepsister??? Hello- that would NEVER happen to her. Besides that she'd say something to me I'm sure! Okay yeah you're probably right, he decided. That was the first thing I thought of when my Mom called to tell me lol. Weird.

Anyways.....that was random- but that's how I roll yo.

Jason's Grandparents get back from Reno today!!! Yay! Jaeli will be thrilled....she is getting more and more irritable every time we go out to check on things or get mail and papers and Pa and G'ma aren't home. They've been gone three weeks!! But her brother is doing a lot better, and I guess his gf flew out so they could get back home. She called this afternoon and was thrilled to be close to home- its a two day drive from here :( Sucky. We took a family vote at the bbq we had to fill in for them at and Patty's making them fly next time. That's just crazy for them to be doing anymore. Anyhow, they just really wanted to say they'll be home tonight after cards at the church lol (which is their usual Thursday activity) and wanted to know how that girl was doing....."that girl" being Jaeli;) That's what Dean says the majority of the time lol. I tease him that it's only b/c he can't remember her name lol;) They were amused at her antics the day of the bbq. She was all kinds of irritated b/c we kept saying no, Pa isn't here....he and Grandma are with Uncle Clyde in Reno, remember? She'd look at us all serious and say "um no. I find him!" and go off searching the house for them *rolls eyes*. Kids *sighs*. So we're going out there tonight to catch up and let Miss Thang' have her Pa and Grandma fix....and vice versa.

Tomorrow is Lexy Lou's birthday!! Ooh...its also Jason's Mom's birthday- gotta remember that lol. Anyhow Jean called last week and said they decided just to go for the family party thing this year, so we're all going out there around 7p I think for that. Abby came out Tuesday for a bit so I sent home two birthday bows she could pick from, so she can wear it to school (Jean says she's all excited to take treats in to her class lol). I made her some plain bows- you know, white, purple, pink- the basics. And then she's getting a candy-corn halloween one, and apple one, a few other patterned random ones, and then I got the ribbon in last night to do a set in pinks/browns- they'll match her current favorite outfit lol;) Then tomorrow we've gotta stop and find her something fun and toy-like. Preferably something loud and annoying just for Steve;) Hee hee. They forget that they do that to us.....but we can get them back b/c they've got a little one still to. Pay backs a bitch yo ;)

Oh lord....I'm watching DiscoveryHealthChannel and they're doing a c-section *shudders*. Seeing them never ever bothered me before....it was chalked into the facinating surgical procedure category with anything else *shrugs*. But holy cow....after having one- I can't hardly stand to watch them. I can't sit and watch an entire one beginning to end- I close my eyes at some point lol. Usually the whole stretching the belly part *shudders*....you definitely understand the bruising and tenderness after watching that- ouch! That is so gonna be a problem in the future if I have another one. I cried and was shaky from pure nerves the first time around....being able to know exactly what they're doing and picture it in my head as its about to happen the next time around.....ug- I don't even wanna think about it lol. That being said just an fyi- if/when there is that next time I'm not just settling on a c-section b/c I had one previously. I hate to say this, but if my OB won't agree to it I'm perfectly open to shopping around for another (I've since learned my OB is the number one in our area though, so I kinda hope that won't happen....we liked her *shrugs* but she comes off to me as a person who wouldn't want to go with that route but we'll see). It's not set in stone that all my children will be breech....its just the fact that it's a higher realistic possibility with my bicornuate uterus issues- period end of story. I can't do anything about that- but hope for the best. I did look into having them try and manually help her to turn- but I'm not any more comfortable with that than my doctor was b/c of my uterus. They could cause further damage, and its already jacked up enough thank you very much. Anyhow....the lady's all fixed up now so I can go back to watching lol;) Isn't that weird? I've seen such way nastier things when I worked at the hospital. I watched c-sections on the same shows before and during my pregnancy just fine. And they just send me into total shudders and grossing out now. Fun fact: I never once looked at my incision- just knowing there were staples creeped me out enough...I didn't want to see that for sure (and was livid when Jason helped me shave in the shower the next day and was all "wow...awesome..." and starts counting them....ug- I didn't wanna know there were 19 thanks- in fact I somewhat remember the clicking sound in the or room and someone saying the word staples, looking at Jason ready to cry and mumbling that staples go in paper...not people...I don't know why I hadn't thought about that, but having staples honestly hadn't previously occured to me lol). Then even after the staples were out....I never once looked down to see, and I turned away from the mirror when I got in the shower or what not so that I wouldn't see it then either. Becca was facinated and wanted to see- we still joke that she looked at it but I refused lol. It was well over two months later when I finally looked *shrugs*. Lol- I'm weird like that I guess *shrugs*.

Geez...more randomness today *shrugs*.

Otherwise not much to report I guess. Same ole same ole. Have a good week guys!

Weekend?? What weekend?!?

The next month or so is going to be hectic I think....so I might as well just suck it up and get used to it. But seriously....I feel like we have had NO weekend whatsoever. I miss my Jase *tear* lol;) BTW....watched that "I Think I Love My Wife" movie.....loved it lol!

Scott and Nicolle's wedding is in just about a month (October 13th...and while I'm at it...fyi, that means so is my birthday yo...it's the 14th. I'm still debating whether or not it's celebratable this year though....I'll let you know when I decide...). We've got to figure out the program this week....and she's GOT to scan me the pictures I need this week so I can get the video done. I know I'm gonna have to make her though. Her Mom and I were bs'ing about that yesterday lol;) Virginia was like look....I'll be here a few days at the beginning of the week, so if it's a matter of Jaeli and Cooper being all up in everything- it's taken care of....we've just got to get her to sit down and DO it!! She's right though (Nicolle would kick my ass for agreeing with her though lol- hee hee). She's been putting that and some other stuff off for awhile. We'll get her whipped into shape though;)

Still....it means hectic life for all....b/c with the house being newly finished- we're all helping get the finishing touches going. The weekend before last was the boys getting the rocks/mulch/flowers in and done in the front while us womenfolk did the invites. This weekend has been the men putting up the fence (mind you....Jase is a perfectionist and wants everything nice and right the first time....Jorge is inbetween....and Scott is just like oh hell no- just throw it up and it'll work....and then he'll be pissed later....Makes for an interesting combo). Oh yeah....and cutting the cable line to all the houses on the block *oops* *rolls eyes*. Geez. Lol. They're going to be finishing that much for days this week after work. Then next weekend they're going to be laying sod. And so on....everything has to be done before the wedding weekend. Meanwhile Nicolle and I have stuff to get done still- gifts in particular and going shopping for them! Plus she just needs help getting the rest of the house unpacked and put together....she didn't ask....I'm telling her that much lol. Or more so just going to do it- or it won't get done and it will eventually drive her nuts (she's a packrat and has clutter everywhere....and quite frankly if I got home when she did after doing all she does at work everyday, to have a few hours with just her and Coop since Scott is on 2nd shift, and do all the normal everyday stuff too....my unpacking motivation would be lacking too....I'm good with unpacking so I've got her back yo). It's just gonna be a long but at the same time quick month, ya know? Jam-packed. And I'm gonna be lacking Tori-Jason time......and I'm wanting and needing that right now yo. Bad timing. But boy will that be one hell of a weekend lol;) Rehersal and dinner Friday night- fun times....visiting with everyone we haven't seen in a billion years and all. Then her parents have already gotten Coley and I a room for that night at the hotel (where the reception will also be) so we can just hang out and reminisce, but also throw some last minute pictures I take at the rehersal into the video;) I'm excited for that night really- it's been a long time since we've had just T and Coley time, ya know? We grew up together from the time we were babies- we have two extended families like that. We went through so much together growing up...stayed in touch on the phone and writing letters after my Mom divorced my Dad and we had to move. She was always there for me with all the craziness between my Mom and Dad and Stepmom and then moving back and living with my Grandparents. We did everything together in high school- omg we had sooo much fun lol. She's always been my absolute best friend in the world- understood me without ever having to ask me anything and vice versa. We lived together for 6 months when we were in college though...and wow- it ended badly lol. We were just very very different people then- plus it was right after my Mom died. I know I probably wasn't much fun to live with....but I felt really alone/abandoned, especially by her and Jason and a few other close friends- like everyone wanted and said they were "there" for me....but then brushed me off or changed the subject or just didn't talk to me, when it was obvious I was hurting like whoa. I think they were left feeling like okay....if somethings wrong and she's hurting, she'd say something....While I was left screaming inside okay....how can they see that I'm hurting soo bad- and never say a word, or anything?!? I was in this serious I know what I want and this is what I have to do to get there stage....I worked all the time....she never did- her parents would cover her part of things if she couldn't- she was ready to party....and when I came home to loudness outside my window on the balcony and my part of the groceries gone.....I wasn't very happy. But we didn't communicate about it- just drifted apart I guess. I seriously think a good year went by without us really talking at all- then she called me on my 21st birthday (astonished that I was in bed and not going out lol) and we slowly became better friends again....until the point that she was living with Scott and I was at Newman on campus- and we were together 24-7 again. Right after that I got pregnant with Jaeli- and everything was back to normal. When I was about 5 months pregnant was when her sister was killed. Anything that hadn't been back to the way it was before was by that point and then some. As much as I hate to say it this way, I think it helped our friendship somewhat. I lost a Mom, not a sister.....but it was still a crazy unexpected loss that I never thought would happen. We're the kind of girls growing up that things like that would never happen too *shrugs*- the kind that had everything going for them always....things were never really all that "hard"....we excelled in anything we ever did....had lots of friends and lots of fun.....always knew what was coming in life- until those two things inparticular happened. They both put a crossroads into life that we never saw coming. Tragedies like that....didn't happen to people like "us", ya know? Gah that sounds awful but I dunno how else to explain what I mean *shrugs*. So oh well. It changed life big time for both of us- we both made choices that we probably would have never ever even thought about happening afterwards. But in the end.....it's bringing us to better places anyhow. As horrible as it was to experience individually- in the end it all contributed to us being able to be friends like we are. It felt good for me to be able to be there for her when Sheri died like no one was for me. It also made her kind of see why I was the way I was back then after my Mom died- and though we've not really sat and talked about exactly this, but I think it added another difficulty for her at the time b/c she saw how she wasn't there for me...but it was like a bonding thing then if that makes sense? It also helped me move on a little bit I think. It's not so scary when someone else feels your pain, ya know? Even if its not exactly the same. Honestly, our losses then....combined with our pregnancies shortly there after, I think made the bond we have as such close friends who grew up together anyhow that much stronger. I have a lot of 'good' friends.....but there won't ever be one that surpasses her or who understands like her. Not even Jason lol- heh;) Anyhow- it'll be fun to just hang and be the girls again for a night or two instead of the grown ups/ Moms that we are now lol. No one can piss me off quite like she can.....but when it comes right down to it, no one could be there for me or understand me quite like she can either. I'm happy for her....Scott is a great guy and I'm happy that things have worked out for them- we went though all the guy stuff growing up and as good friends do....and I'm so glad that after everything, Scott is the person she's ended up with and who completes her. They're pretty awesome people lol. It's just soooo bizzare to think back on our lives and our friendship and suddenly really get hit with the fact that holy shit....we're like....grown ups and stuff *swoons*;) Anyhow- then obviously the wedding day will be fun times....the reception in particular being crazy fun;) And then I get to wake up the day after and have a birthday and get lots of presents (this of course assuming I decide to recognize it and get older...ug...)- doesn't get much more jam packed of fun stuff than that I don't think *shrugs* lol;) Jason's Grandparent's are keeping Jaeli that weekend. That should be interesting too lol- that'll be a first....she's only stayed one night before *takes deep cleansing Mommy breath....they did raise 3 kids who are all still alive and stuff.....I'm sure it'll be fine lol;)*

She's lucky I heart her and she's my bff.....or I'd hate her and be pissed I have no weekend time with the fam lol ;p

On that note....I gotta go. Tired yo. Hope everyone had a great weekend! Sorry this got so long *rolls eyes* but you know me and my rambling mind *shrugs* ;)